How Can I Go Back To Life As Usual?

"How can I go back to life as usual?

How can I return to who I once was?

I just want to take your story to the world,

cause you have shown me what it means to love...

I no longer live for myself,

Your words are so clear.

Help me live it loud enough,

so they can hear..."

~Meredith Andrews song 'What It Means To Love'

This is the cry of my heart.

Let me back up just a bit...

It has been about six months since my last blog post, which was exactly two days before the devastating earthquake in Haiti....just four days before we were scheduled to land in Port-Au-Prince.

Not surprisingly, our trip was postponed....

In the meantime, a LOT has happened. We sold our house and moved into a lovely, cozy home with an amazing yard that we absolutely adore! This move allowed us to down-size our mortgage significantly, which was our goal from the start. We couldn't be happier or more thankful for the amazing way God has provided for us.

In early April, about a week after we moved, our team finally headed to Haiti.... Although we arrived roughly three months after the devastating earthquake hit, and aid has supposedly been pouring in, it looked as though it could have been yesterday. Total destruction and unimaginable devastation are all around. Hundreds of thousands of people are still homeless and living without the basic necessities of life.

Can you imagine for just a moment what life would REALLY be like if you and your family lived here? Rummaging through garbage piles in the street for something to eat. Laying your children down on a blanket in the dirt to sleep.

No water. No food. No home. No electricity. No income. No hope...

It was unbelievable....and heartbreaking.

As we traveled about 5 hours north of Port-Au-Prince to where we would be staying at the Good Shepherd Orphanage, the devastation from the earthquake subsided, but the intense level of poverty did not. It struck me that there wasn't a 'poor part' of the country that we happened to see. Nearly the ENTIRE country is living in extreme poverty.

Did you know that over 80% of Haitians live on less than $1 per day? Stop and think about that. How much could you really provide for your family if you had just $1 per day?

We had several goals for this trip including things like (1) putting a pump in the new well that had just been drilled to provide clean water for the orphanage, school, medical clinic and surrounding community, (2) photographing a couple hundred school kids to set up a sponsorship program for them, (3) help with a feeding program for the poorest of the poor children, and (4) love on lots of children who are starving for love and affection....just to name a few. They say, a picture says a thousand words, so here goes...

Feeding the poorest of the poor... Heartbreaking.

Installing the pump to get clean water from the new well for the first time.... Joyous!

Loving on kids who desperately need it.... Fun!

Well, this is becoming a rather long post, so I better stop there.....I won't go in to all the details because my friend Naomi has done such a fantastic job of blogging about our entire trip. Rather than duplicate her efforts, I figured I would just give you the link to her blog where you can see MANY more great photos and read all about the details of our trip if you would like: http://thejenkinsclan.typepad.com

My dear friend Naomi and I....

Our team...

The cross we mounted on the hill overlooking the new orphanage building...

I better stop there for now, but suffice it to say that it was an amazing, heart-wrenching, life-altering kind trip. One that I won't soon forget. I cannot go back to life as usual. I won't.

God continues to break my heart for the things that break His heart, and in doing so, is changing the course of my life. I am simply saying 'Yes' to whatever He asks of me. It's that simple. I have a pretty good idea about what that will mean for the near future, but I'll have to save that for my next post.

Until then, I continue to ponder the question posed to us at church last weekend by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision....

"What does God expect of us?"